September 2009
3 posts
Disney to Acquire Marvel Entertainment for $4... →
[Editorial Note: This is really nerdy.]
WHAT?! Doctor Strange vs Jafar? Iron Man vs Gizmoduck? THE BEAST VS THE BEAST?
It’s true, true believers, the Walt Disney Company now owns Marvel Entertainment. I wasn’t sure how to react at first- mostly, it was just outrage, with some shock and even embarassment mixed in. But after an afternoon spent screaming from my window, throwing my...
August 2009
9 posts
A lot of nothing
I was flipping through blogs today (as I spend most of my time alotted for other things doing) and came upon a blog of a New York comedian, Baron Vaugh (star of “Half-Birthday Sex”, posted below). He keeps an active blog, but a blog not just with funny videos or horrific animal mash-ups assisted by Photoshop. A blog with words. Words- great long heaping piles of them strung together...
Watch“Half-Birthday Sex”
CH Originals has been hitting it out of the park with their music videos recently.
Adam meets Surge, hijinks ensue.
Sean: i'm really low on money
Sean: adam, you've always been my friend, right?
Adam: you do the coke off the the dead stippers forehead right?
Sean: listen, i need some money
Adam: sure
Adam: hahaha
Adam: how much this time?
Sean: like
Sean: $5,000
Sean: right now
Sean: there's a guy here
Adam: this second?
Sean: his name's Surge
Adam: hmm
Adam: no more of your investments
Sean: yeah like right right now
Adam: i cant have chickens shipped to my house this time either
Sean: what?? that's livestock! poultry man, that's like guaranteed money if you know the right people!
Sean: okokokok fine no chickens
Adam: thank you
Sean: just like, 6 grand
Sean: right now
Adam: what happened with 5?
Adam: also
Adam: im in boston
Sean: and 4 grand tomorrow
Adam: so
Adam: 9?
Adam: all together?
Sean: no ten grand all together
Sean: 7 now, 3 tomorrow
Adam: right
Sean: like right now man seriously Surge is so pissed
Adam: is that short for surgio?
Sean: nope, Surge
Adam: or is he on the juice and all surged up
Sean: as in electricity
Adam: right
Sean: plus he has two friends
Sean: Knifeface and Gun
Sean: i swear to god these guys are fucking huge
Adam: how big abouth
Adam: what would say their girth is
Sean: seriously? Gun is seven feet tall
Sean: (and black)
Adam: throw out a number
Sean: 5hundo pounds
Adam: girth
Adam: circumference maybe
Sean: i dont know, like 4 feet around?
Sean: big guy
Sean: plus he has a gun
Adam: thats pretty big
Sean: thats about all he really needs
Adam: which one?
Adam: does gun have a gun?
Sean: Gun, duh
Sean: KnifeFace has a knife
Adam: does he also have a face?
Sean: well, a knife attached to a gun
Adam: does it shoot guns
Adam: or is it a bayoneete
Sean: it's more like a knife shooting gun
Adam: i mean does it shoot knife
Sean: yeah
Adam: i want a knife shooting gun with a bullet bayoneete
Sean: BUT LOOK I NEED TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS RIGHT NOW
Sean: SURGE IS GETTING PISSED
Adam: did you just buy 10 grand worth of blow in the past 3 minutes?
Sean: HE MIGHT-
Adam: ...
Surge: this is surge.
Surge: i'm coming for you, Adam.
Surge: i'm gonna take your fucking head off.
Adam: now surge
Adam: can i call you surgio?
Surge: unless you get 30,000 dollars in ten minutes.
Adam: now
Surge: no you cannot call me fucking surgio did i say my name was surgio?
Adam: i can give you 30000 dollars no problem
Adam: no you diddnt
Adam: now
Adam: NOW
Adam: you can have the money sure
Adam: or something BETTER
Adam: like ALOT BETTER
Adam: see the 30,000 dollars
Adam: sure I can give it to you
Adam: but
Adam: then its done
Adam: boom
Adam: money
Adam: there
Adam: now
Adam: i got about 400 chickens at my house
Adam: have you ever heard of sustainable income?
Surge: 400 chickens?
Surge: that's livestock
Adam: yeah
Adam: huge market for it
Adam: HUGE
Surge: that's like, guaranteed money with some people i know
Adam: you start breeding that shit
Surge: alright, ship them to my house
Adam: ok
Adam: address?
Surge: 37 SkullFuck Place, Nightmare, NY
Adam: that zipcode 7734?
Adam: also do you think you can throw me some money for the shipping cost?
Adam: I am an intern
Adam: so
Adam: money is kind of tight right now
Surge: zip code's 06660
Adam: after the town split
Surge: yeah send Pay on Delivery
Surge: yeah it's weird
Adam: oh i can dig that
Surge: both zip codes still work for my place right now
Adam: these towns really need to get it together
Surge: SkullFuck Pl is in Nightmare and Monsey, NY
Surge: it's a ten-year transition process
Adam: I mean i understand that this is a complicated process
Adam: but
Adam: how hard can it be
Adam: just some paperwork
Surge: hey, i don't make the rules
Adam: I hear you Surge
Surge: thats why i always make sure to vote, even on the municipal level
Surge: it's important to be involved in the community
Adam: absolutely
Adam: every election you dont vote in is an election you lose
Surge: anyway i did really kill your friend
Surge: he's dead
Adam: yeah
Adam: i figured as much
Surge: but i'm interested in those chickens
Adam: water under the bridge
Adam: also
Adam: im really sorry about that surgio thing before
Surge: hey, no big deal, common mistake
Adam: I mean it does seem like it is short for it
Adam: on paper
Surge: yeah
Surge: but i'm not italian
Surge: it's just my Black Person Name
Adam: AHHH
Adam: see I did not want to presume
Surge: i'm 50% black, 50% demon
Adam: oh yeah?
Adam: was that tough growing up?
Surge: it was tough, but it wasn't the hell thing
Surge: it was my parents, they split up
Adam: was it the distance?
Surge: so it's weekdays in Monsey, weekends in Hell
Adam: its always tough when parents split up
Surge: well no, it's just a straight shot down from pretty much anywhere on the globe
Surge: it was just the back and forth
Adam: oh well at least the weekend commutes werent too draining
Adam: yeah
Surge: hell's actually not so bad if you're still alive
Adam: it gets to anyone after a while
Surge: just the traveling
Adam: They say its the new fiji
Surge: but anyway, i've got some people i need to shake down for money, then some murder to commit
Adam: right of course
Adam: your a busy man
Surge: but definitely interested in those chickens
Adam: expect the chickens next week
Surge: hey, no rest for the wicked, right?
Adam: are you on facebook?
Surge: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Surge: nah, myspace
Adam: do you twitter?
Adam: they say its the new fiji of communication
Surge: thinking about starting
Adam: its dumb but addictive
Surge: see what all the fuss is about
Surge: i bet
Adam: hit me up on the twitter
Surge: will do
Adam: ok surge
Surge: i'll talk to you later man
Surge: good meeting you
Adam: god bless
Surge: whoa, what the fuck?
Adam: haha JK
Surge: haha maaan
Surge: thought you were fucking with me for a minute
Adam: haha i got you man
Surge: alright, see ya man
Adam: farewell
