Will

Hiking that 5.5 miles today got me thinking: what is the hardest part of a journey?  Either a very difficult hike, or any other goal one sets out to accomplish.  Is it that first step, when one sees all the daunting challenges ahead of himself?  Or is it that last, final step, when one has completely and totally used up all of his energy, yet still needs to find something within himself to push for this last part?

On the one hand, that first step is incredibly challenging because you don’t know exactly what’s coming up ahead.  You know the general terrain, what to expect, but you don’t know exactly what this is going to through at you, and if you’ll actually be able to deal with it.  With no set definition, your brain begins to exaggerate any perceived difficulty, however big or small it may be, and you can quickly lose control if you let it spin away.  Soon, the task before you will seem too difficult, too monstrous, and seemingly too big for you to attack.  But, if you have prepared for it, you at least have the knowledge that you have the right tools, and you still have a shot at completing this thing.  And as you are right at the beginning of your climb, you have plenty of energy and strength to get started.

But, on the other hand, the last step is testing as well, for very different reasons.  You have used up all you have in you, and you still see you’re not at the finish.  You have just a little more to go, and all you have left, the only fuel left in you, is your will power.  Somehow, this force needs to be powerful enough to move your legs onward, and the only way to make it that powerful is to ignore every instinct you have.  Your body is telling you it’s done; your feet are telling you they can’t take it; your mind is struggling to keep it all together despite the mutiny taking place.  But you think about how far you’ve come, and how your willpower and strength have gotten you this far.  The only option is turning around and going back the way you came, erasing all you accomplised.  You realize that to do that, rather than go this last bit, is incredibly foolish and defeatist, and suddenly you find you have the will power to move your feet over these last few yards. 

I wish will power could be put into cars.